NetCynics Blog

Don’t you just love right-wing mentality? This one wants to scrap the Human Rights Act and integrate Police and Prison Service into the armed forces, apparently:

To often our press is plagued with stories of street gangs running riot while innocent people suffer at their hands. We propose the scrapping of the Human Rights Act so offenders can be punished properly while the Police are integrated into the Armed Forces, armed and trained to deal properly with offenders. The police and the prison service can then deal properly with offenders while protecting the public properly.

Maybe we’ll start by pointing out how naive it is, relying on the assumption between “offenders” and “the public” is all that clear-cut. For a main course, how would the proposer feel to be on the receiving end of soldiers coming around to his house, guns & uniforms ‘n’all, to “research” a reported burglary?

And how does this proposal facilitate `proper’ protection anyway?

Maybe, since he doesn’t want the right to freedom of expression, he should be the first to just shut up now?

Technorati Tags: idiocy, politics, right-wing

Don’t you just love it when you misread bungedtogetherwordsinurlsandstuff? Take this petition for example:

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/sexorientstop/

I keep reading the last word as shop, not stop. Which brings all sorts of rather strange and worrying images to mind (worrying, who am I kidding?)

Still, at least the author of the petition as some business sense:

Or to stop Christians from having the right to say they dont want gays on their property sharing a double bed.

Single beds then? That way you pack more into your B&B?

I guess I’m going out on a limb here, what with it only being Monday, but I nominate the introduction of this petition for the Typo of the Week award:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Make rule 238 of the Highway Code an endorsable offence and therfore educate drivers that do not return to the loft¹

I now have this vision of a middle-lane-hogging granny who is allowed out to do the deed but has to be home before sundown so she can be locked back in the attic.

1) Yes, I know, I didn’t quote the whole thing, it’s more amusing that way.

This one strikes me as particularly daft:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Make it illegal to keep your car stationary with the foot brake when it would be safer to do so with the handbrake. This will also stop the person in the car behind you being glared by the brake lights.

Now, apart from the misuse of the verb `glared’, has the sponsor ever considered that the foot-brake uses all 4 wheels while the hand-brake only affects the rear two? Not to mention, having foot on the brake is handy when you want to blink the lights to warn eejits coming up from behind?

I guess he probably just doesn’t have enough clutch-control to do it. Wuss.

Technorati Tags: idiocy, driving

OK, so I’m not above a little pedantry in the same way as the ocean is not a little above the sky:

“We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to do all he can to STOP ANIMAL TESTING”

Technorati Tags: funny, government

Continue Reading »

This petition:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to asbo’s is a need for something to do!!

Somehow I won’t blame the PM if he can’t figure out what that’s supposed to mean. To be honest, I’m not totally sure what it’s really trying to say myself.

anti social behaviour is is not about getting kids into trouble

Indeed, it’s about people being anti-social. Isn’t it?

it is about spending a some money on community centres for them to do soemthing

Woah! Really? Anti-social behaviour is about spending money on community centres?

all they need is somewhere to go, these less privileged children have no where to go and nothing to do

So anti-social behaviour is only about children? Hmm, okay. But, hang on, they do have somewhere to go and something to do, they apparently go somewhere and do something anti-social.

not everyone has the chance or money to help there children

Or borrow a dictionary from the library.

the national lottery make so much money every week so why can’t they fund these cities for these children who are not trouble makers but bored and have nothing or nowhere to go

If they’re not “trouble makers” why are they engaged in anti-social behaviour and why have they been served ASBOs? And, hang on a moment, “cities”? Bloody townies, don’t care about the hard-up children living in the countryside!

instead of making there lives a misery make soething of there lives!!!

There there.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Make me a cup of tea.

This petition has been rejected because:

• It was outside the remit or powers of the Prime Minister and Government

By their own admission, Tony and his gang are unable to make a cup of tea. And you wonder why people want him out.

Did you know, the real problem with England is that we apparently don’t have a national dress?

why is england the only country not to have a national dress. scotland has the kilt, new zealand has mouri tattoos amongst other things and so on. what is wrong with england having its own thing to set it apart from other countrys.

I’ll ignore the fact that spelling england as England might be a start, might show a bit more national pride. Never mind.

What I find hard to believe is that the author of that petition seems never to have noticed the traditional knotted hankie, string vest and rolled up trousers…

OK, where does one start with such an airy concept as “political correctness”?

“We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Abolish Political Correctness.”

Technorati Tags: weird

Continue Reading »

What’s worse than a petition that nobody has signed?

Try this one:

This petition is about gay rights allowed in churches across the UK and basically we would like it if the law can ban gay people out of the church society.

And who has signed it?

Peter, the Petition Creator, joined by:

• peter

Fancy playing with yourself in public!